Baby Lock!

The last few years have been somewhat emotional and the reason I am writing about all of this is 1. because I have several friends who have gone through or who are going through the same roller coaster! and 2.  I haven't written about all of this ever, so in a way this blog is my little journal, a way for me to write and get my emotions and feelings out, and a read for any family and friends who are interested. :)

Most everyone knows that Benny and I had been trying to have a baby for a long time! After a year and a half of trying (Yes that is a LONG time in my eyes), being on tons of different fertility medicines, lots of different tests done that all came back perfectly normal, and tears on top of tears on top of more tears....I was emotionally and physically exhausted!!! Seriously...do you know how much money I wasted on ovulation tests and pregnancy tests? And every single month you take that test, your heart is literally pounding out of your chest, your on the verge of tears, and then...that pregnancy test say "NOT PREGNANT".  For starters its so depressing because its that quick reminder that you are still not pregnant and second is that my body was not doing what is was supposed to do! What every woman is supposed to be able to do naturally! I am a woman so what was going on? My body felt dysfunctional!!! I was so scared that Benny and I would never be able to have kids of our own, which makes me get choked up and teary eyed just thinking about it. So, I would have my day of being upset and mad that yet again I wasn't pregnant, and then would pick myself back up and say "Okay, this is the month" because still deep down I have always felt that I am here on this earth to be a mom! That is my main purpose, plain and simple! So we moved on to our next option...

IUI --- (Intrauterine insemination (IUI) is a fertility treatment that involves placing sperm inside a woman's uterus to facilitate fertilization. The goal of IUI is to increase the number of sperm that reach the fallopian tubes and subsequently increase the chance of fertilization......well said....Thank you google for the explanation!)

Here was our next option! Basically I was just so happy that we were finally able to try something new, because obviously the Femara, Clomid, Metformin and all of the other weird meds were not doing the job on their own...In June we went to have the IUI done which was so simple and then I left and went home. The whole way home asking myself "do I feel any different?" haha like my body would already feel if I was pregnant! And can I just say that the next two weeks of playing the waiting game felt like a lifetime!!! It was torture! So on July 3rd Benny had to get up and go to work so he left and I just laid in bed thinking if I should take a test or not...(It was still 3 days too early to test) I thought what the heck, I might as well.  I went into this test just telling myself it was okay if it was negative, and pretty much telling myself that it was negative so that maybe my heart wouldn't be so crushed. The doctor told us there was a good chance IUI wouldn't work the very first time. So I did my thing and walked out of the bathroom so I wouldn't just stare at that dang stick!

A few minutes later I walked back in and it said "PREGNANT"!!! I about died! I started bawling my eyes out and seriously hyperventilating! I was in complete shock! I was so happy and so scared at the same time. I was so scared because I almost felt like it was too good to be true. Was I really pregnant or was it a false positive? I had to let it sink in for awhile.  Just to be sure that afternoon I took another test and it confirmed it. I was really pregnant!

That day felt so long as I waited and waited for Benny to get home from work! I had it all planned out how I wanted to tell him, so I couldn't just call him up when he was at work and tell him or show up there. I had been waiting for this for a long time so I was just going to wait till he got home!

Benny thought we were going out that night so he went to jump in the shower and get ready.  I laid out his outfit for the night that was his Alabama "Roll Tide" shirt....it all fits together as to why! Just FYI we were going to Cabo in 2 weeks so I told him to come downstairs because I had a surprise for him for the trip. The whole time he thought it was a new swimsuit. I had the camera set up and all! I knew I would want to have pictures to remember this very moment and the excitement we felt. When he opened it he saw the pregnancy test, the cutest Alabama onsie, and little football leggings! It was all perfect and I am so glad I waited till he got home! He was so excited which was the reaction I had hoped for!

  Back in September my sister April threw us a gender reveal party to find out what we were having and it was so much fun! Our whole family was there and we were so excited to find out we were having a girl!









So here we are...expecting our baby girl March 12th 2015! Her name is going to Bentley Elizabeth Lock. Named after both Benny and I.  Benny (Bengt) and then my middle name is Elizabeth so we thought it was the perfect name! 

Right now I am 28 weeks pregnant and have been feeling great! No morning sickness at all.  Only some heartburn, and restless legs at night.  I would say that is a great pregnancy so far! All of my appointments have been great with my doctor saying she is perfectly healthy and measurements are just where they need to be! I feel like she is huge though! My belly popped at 12 weeks and gets bigger and bigger by the day!

This was a complete miracle to me, and a huge life lesson to never stop believing that things will work out for you.  When this all started 2 years ago I thought it would be so simple and then it wasn't. I have learned so much about myself, Benny, and our relationship.  I'm so grateful to have such an amazing man in my life who has kept me sane and positive throughout all of this, because there were a lot of times it was very tough. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and things are going to happen and work out when they are supposed to! Now March just needs to get her so I can hold my baby girl in my arms and never let her go! We can't wait to meet her and to have a little family of our own!